A baby fills a hole in your heart that your didn’t know was there...

I thought my heart was too full of love. I couldn't possibly fit any more...that was until July 22, 2011...

I had a scheduled my repeat c-section for 7/22/11. This made it so easy to prepare for the birth of our second baby. I was able to pack everything for James and Watson and make sure they were in good hands so I could be in peace as Andy and I prepared to met our second baby. This also meant that the entire week leading up to the delivery, I was in tears-cherishing every moment with my "only child." My mother said that James would not remember life without Thomas, and this would send a bittersweet sting to my heart. I wanted to soak up every second with my oldest boy. We did something fun each day and every night I lingered just a little bit longer than usual running my hands through his soft hair, and touching his perfect cheeks. I held him in my arms, rocked him, sang to him, read to him...let him know how much I loved him every chance I could. I was so afraid that our relationship was going to go through some crazy change when Thomas came into the picture. I was afraid that James was going to feel jealousy, and be hurt that we had brought a new baby boy into his home. I was a basket case trying my best to hold it together.

Ready to meet our baby! Before leaving for the hospital 7/22/11

I dropped him off at my in-laws the night before the c-section. I had carefully packed his bags for his 5 day stay with them. I carried on some light hearted small talk in the kitchen and quickly kissed him good bye before running out of the house-and I mean RUNNING! You've never seen a 9month pregnant woman move so fast. I didn't want anyone to see the tears streaming down my face. I was beyond excited to meet my new baby, but was overwhelmed with fear-of the c-section, of James' reaction, that my heart might not be able to love two babies equally....so much unknown!

I don't think I really slept that night. I cleaned until midnight, then tossed and turned for the rest of the night. Thank goodness 6a.m. came quickly. Andy packed the car and we were on our way to the hospital!

My knees were like jello as we checked in. I was scheduled for a c-section at 11a.m. They put in the IVs and got me comfortable while I waited. Apparently it wasn't busy that day, because at 9:20a.m. they said they were ready to bring me in. I kissed Andy good-bye while they wheeled me down to the O.R. I was minutes away from meeting my baby!

A scheduled c-section is much different than an emergency one. With James, I had labored so long I would have let them operate without medications. I just wanted him out. The contractions, and hours of pain, had made me so exhausted I was numb. I didn't remember what the operating room looked like, or what really  happened up to the moment I held James. With my planned c-section, I took in every detail of the room, every smell, every face. I was terrified for the surgery and thought I was going to feel everything. I was so wrong! The spinal was intense. I went from feeling everything, to complete numbness. The nurses lifted my legs on the table and I was shocked that I had no feeling.

Andy came in the room and we had a conversation while the doctor started the procedure. It seemed like just a couple minutes before I heard the most beautiful sound in the world-a newborn cry. There are no words to ever describe the way that sounds affects a mother. It took my breath away. If I could live those first moments over and over again, I would. I looked up at the curtain to see Thomas' smooshed little face, and heard the doctor say, "Hi Mommy!" I couldn't believe he was here. Andy leaned down and kissed me and we pressed our foreheads together and cried. Thomas Liam McKenna arrived at 9:42a.m. on July 22, 2011 weighing 8lbs 9oz and measuring 20" long. We felt so blessed!

Welcome to the world Thomas Liam!

Andy ran over to cut the cord and take a sneak peek at our new, little miracle. He came over to report that everything was perfect and he was healthy. Before I knew it, I was looking into Thomas Liam's beautiful eyes. He was all bundled up like a baby burrito, resting next to my head. He was sucking the air so loud that the doctor on the other side of the curtain was laughing. Another doctor came over to say that he came out with his fists up, peeing on everyone. Something I'll be sure to share with him someday.

Holding my baby boy for the first time!

His feet cracked me up. They were always breaking free of my swaddle.

I spent the entire first day holding him and trying to study every feature. My father once called me "an intruder" because I invaded the family of 5. I understood what he meant. Thomas didn't look like James, so I had to work a little harder to memorize his little features. He was my own little intruder!

My little intruder!

I had Thomas bundled in my arms when James came in the room. I was greeted with the biggest smile from him. He ran over to my bed squealing, "Hi Mama!" When I lowered the blanket to reveal his little brother to him, he slammed on his little breaks and stepped back. His face looked bewildered. My heart felt a twinge of pain. I knew it, he was heartbroken. I tried to stay enthusiastic as I showed James his little brother. He studied him, trying to figure it out. I didn't want anyone to know how scared I was of upsetting him. My uncle walked in the room at that moment and James turned to him and said with a big smile on his face, "Look Uncle Bobby, it's my brother Thomas!" I bawled. In front of everyone, I bawled. Nine months of roller coaster emotions came out like the Great Flood. James had accepted him and everything was going to be OK. I could breathe.

James showing Thomas his toy!

Feeding his baby brother for the first time!

I couldn't have been luckier with the way James responded to his baby brother. He loved him from the start. This made the transition from one, to two babies much easier on me. I had been so worried and afraid for nothing. James instantly took on the role of the big brother. He asked to hold him, feed him, tickle him, give him his pacifier, etc. He even innately started talking to him with the most tender of tones. For anyone who knows James, you know how loud he can be. When he talks to Thomas, he has a sweet whisper and such a gentle touch. It amazes me that a two-year-old would naturally know how to do that without having me teach him.

Our first "family of four" picture!

I never knew my heart would be capable of loving so much. I love James, I love Thomas, and I love the relationship that James and Thomas have as brothers. Andy and I always say that we couldn't have made a better decision than to have had our babies so close together. I get excited knowing what they have in store. My hope is that they continue to grow their bond and someday be best friends. I know I will enjoy nurturing it!

Giving Thomas his pacifier. Big helper!

Snuggling Thomas

"Mommy, can I hold Thomas?" Already a pro with one week experience as a big brother!

The Two's!

I can't believe my little guy is two years old! How did that even happen? They say time flies when you're having fun, but I feel like it was more of a blink of an eye!

We celebrated James' 2nd birthday on July 2nd. This year we chose to do a racecar theme since that was James' obsession for the year. I want to try to make that a tradition-whatever his "fad" was for the year will be the birthday theme. Our family and close friends came to my parents house to help us celebrate. My friend, Melissa, made the most amazing racecar birthday cake with racecar cookies. James couldn't take his eyes off of it. He was in his glory, knowing the day was all about him. I kept a close eye on him as he mingled with friends, and even sometimes went off to play by himself. He wore a constant smile on his face. All of his "people" were there, and on top of it all-to celebrate him!

When it came time to sing "Happy Birthday," I think I got through the first couple words before getting a lump in my throat. How was my baby turning 2? I watched his face light up with excitement when we lit the candles and started singing. Andy had downloaded the theme song to the Cars movie which thrilled the birthday boy. He blew out his candles all by himself (with no drool, thank goodness) and I handed him the rice krispie treat racecar from the top of the cake. Andy put him down on the grass, and he immediately broke into his happy dance. He loved every second.

James' amazing birthday cake made by Sweet Melissa's Cakes in Carver!

His happy little face eating his edible racecar!

The infamous happy dance-he does this dance everytime he hears the Cars theme!

After all the food was eaten, cake was devoured, and presents opened, I saw my tired birthday boy walking around somewhat taking it all in. I asked, "James are you tired from all the fun today?" He looked at me with a big smile on his face and replied, "I no sleepy Mommy, I happy." I'll never forget that moment. He is such a joy.

So the journey of the "terrible two's" has begun. I have a feeling with James, they might not be so terrible...or at least I hope so. His language has developed so much, that when he's being fresh, its actually funny. I really find it hard to keep a straight face as I try to discipline him. His most recent "freshy talk" is the use of the word "nothing." I don't know where this came from, but when he gets really upset he'll say "nothing bed," "nothing supper," "nothing etc." It's as if the word "nothing" is his swear word. No one has a clue where it came from, but it cracks me up. He'll fall of his bike and shout, "nothing bicycle" and then get back on. The word will never be the same! Tonight on the ride home, I said "is baby Thomas going to come out of mommy's belly next week." He sat and thought about it for a moment, and replied "Nothing Thomas!" O boy! If this is the extent of his temper, I think I can handle it!

As for his "sweeter words," I have been singing "I love James" to him since he was a baby. A couple months ago, he started replying with, "James loves Mommy" to the same tune. This melted my heart. Just recently, he started initiating the song out of no where. As I was driving home tonight, my mind crazy with "to do" lists, I heard "James loves Mommy!" come from the back seat. I replied with "Mommy loves James." He started giggling and kept singing it. It's so wonderful having a little lovebug who can now voice things like "I'm mommy's boy" or "I love Mommy." It makes it all worth it-even on the toughest of days.

His gift to us on his second birthday was swimming. My parents have a pool and we are very nervous about James being around it. We are constantly watching him when he's near it, or even when we're in the house. My mother has tied bells to all of her doors so that we can catch him trying to escape. The weather was beautiful on his birthday, so I got him in his bathing suit and my nephew Patrick took him in the pool. I peeked out the window to check-in on them and saw James swimming. Somehow my 14 year old nephew taught him to swim. I threw my bathing suit on and went down to the pool to test how far he could go. Granted he has his life vest with swimmies, but he was able to swim from the steps of the shallow end, to the edge of the deep end (where I stopped him) to give me a high five. He'd then turn around and make his way back to the steps. We've taken him swimming everyday since, and he keeps getting better and better. I'm hoping this will bring us "some" relief with him being around water. If we can teach him basics, or how to find the stairs, I'll feel so much more secure. In the meantime, I love watching his little froggy legs kicking and him doing the doggie paddle with a proud expression on his face. He calls himself "Nemo."

My little fishy and me!

So this month is officially the month of the 2's. My little guy is officially 2, Thomas will be joining us on the 22nd, I will be the mother of 2, and will have 2 boys to love and enjoy. Its a very bittersweet month. I'm excited to watch what two years old brings, I'm excited to see what being a mom of two feels like, I'm curious to see how my two boys will react to eachother, but I'm saying good-bye to a two year chapter of my life-James and me, as well as a 9month chapter of pregnancy. I love being pregnant-its a miracle and will never cease to amaze me, but I can't wait to get down on the floor and play with both of my boys. Here's to the new chapter. I have no doubt it will be the best one yet!

...and he makes my life worth living....

Less than a month until he is 2, and becomes a big brother. How is that possible? How is this little guy going to seem so big? Well....his personality is certainly a factor!

Of course all moms probably think their kids have the biggest personality, and I'm defintiely one of them, and I might have some witnesses who agree. This child sometimes blows my mind. When I was pregnant with James, I used to joke with Andy that he'd come out looking like him, but would have my personality. For those who know me, my personality goes hand and hand with my ever rambling mouth. I admit it, I never shut up. I always have something to say, or a story to tell. It's been that way since I was a baby, and I guarantee I'll never change...

I met my match...

James went from saying his first official word, "ball" at 8 months of age, to sentences by 18 months. From the moment he wakes in the morning, he is talking. I know he's awake because I can hear him talking to his stuffed animals, "Good morning Griffey Bear," "Good Morning Bumbee!" Then he tells them about the trucks and cars that are on the floor and says "We go to Gramma's house today to drive Papa's car." I'll come in the room and he instructs me to open his curtains and turn off his fan. He asks what outfit he'll wear, and I show him the shirt and have him tell me what is on it. He'll retain this information until we get to my moms house and he'll puff his little chest out and tell her exactly what's on his shirt. (example: pirate shirt, fireman shirt, dinosaur shirt, baseball shirt, etc). My mom will compliment him and he'll stand there smiling (and showing off).

As he approaches the "terrible two's," he's become a bit more demanding and a bit more of a dictator. He loves bossing people around-adjusting already to his role as a big brother I suppose. My father-in-law compared him to a little doll that you can pull a string and a few catch phrases will come out, "STOP" "Don't Worry" "Go away" "No thank you!" He puts this fake frown on and tries to act tough. He'll point his little finger like a tough guy, but unfortunately can't keep a straight face. He's a character.

A couple new things, other than his commands, that have brought me many smiles, have been how he points out all the cars and trucks on the road while I drive places. He'll tell me about the dump trucks, tractors, buses, police cars, fire trucks, and "ambances." He'll point out big mounds of dirt and say "messes mama, vacuum!" He back seat drives, so he'll instruct me when to stop, and when to go. He knows to look for the red and green lights. He tells me when to slow down or to "go fast." He gets nervous in drive-thru lines when I get so close-"Careful mama! Don't crash!" I swear he has a little of my mom in him!

I've been singing to him the same lullaby that my parents sung to me as a child, "Morningtown Ride." My parents were big into folk music and the Seekers were one of their favorite groups. About a week or so ago I started singing it to him, and he started singing along with me-literally every word. It's officially the first song that we've sung together word-for-word. For almost months now, I've been able to sing lines of songs and leave out the last word of each verse and he'll fill in the blank, but this is the first official song he has completely memorized, and it's adorable. I keep meaning to record him singing it, because his little voice is so precious.

I've been telling James that he's going to have a baby, and Baby Thomas is in my belly. A couple weeks ago, while out at a restaurant with my parents, my dad asked "Where is Thomas, James?" James pointed right to my belly and said "in mama's belly!" I couldn't believe it. He had been listening. Now if you say anything about Thomas, he comes right to my belly. I'm hoping this means he's getting excited, and will welcome the little intruder into his home with open arms! Either that, or he's picturing a miniature train in my belly-we shall see!

My mom has been taking him for walks each day. Everytime he sees a lilac bush, he insists on picking some for me. I'm sure the neighbors aren't too impressed, but my mom caves and lets him do it. He runs in the house and says "Mama! Pretty Flowers! Mama Happy!!" He insists on holding the flowers the whole walk home with no assistance from my mom. I think this started with the lilac bush outside of our house. Every night when we'd get out of the car, I'd bring him over to smell the flowers (one of my most favorite smells). He knew how much I loved these flowers, and now can pick them out anywhere. They are now officially "Mama's flowers" not lilacs!

We bought him a couple puzzles to play with. He will pretend to put the pieces in the wrong spots, or upside down and wait for us to look then says "No, silly James-that's not zebra," or "No, silly James, firetruck upside down!" He corrects himself, but wants us to laugh at his little joke!

Today I got the chance to take him down to the beach. We found crabs, hermit crabs, periwinkles, and a horseshoe crab. He held the crab and hermit crab in his chubby little hands and laughed hysterically. He kept calling the hermit crabs "buggies." I corrected him, but then I'd her him say "Mama, more buggies!" The smaller ones were "baby buggies" and the bigger ones were "daddy buggies." We had a great time at the beach, and he was exhausted tonight-early bed!

July 22nd, I'm scheduled for my c-section. I can't believe I'm going to have two boys. I try to wrap my mind around it, but I don't think I'll believe it until I'm holding Thomas in my arms. I'm sure Thomas is already familiar with that little (big) voice that talks non-stop from 8a.m.-8p.m. everyday. I'm sure it will bring him pure happiness, as it does to so many people already.

I'm positive in the next month, there will be a million more things that James will do that will bring a smile to my face. I'm a person who not only talks a lot, but smiles a lot. I have a happy heart. I just never knew how happy I could be until James came into my life.

Don't Blink!

So, here I am, 10 weeks away from becoming a mom of two little boys!

I can't believe how fast these months have flown by. James certainly has kept me busy. Each day is something new, fun, exciting, funny, you name it! Sometimes I feel like I'm in some crazy tornado, then it hits his bedtime, and I get the chance to reflect on what actually happened that day. There is nothing, in my opinion, more rewarding and interesting, then watching a child transform from a newborn to a walking, talking, joking, laughing, adventerous, toddler.

I try to store all of my favorite "James-isms" in my memory, but I don't want them to slip away. Some of the things he says and does are just so priceless to me. I love seeing his thought process.

I need to blog these memories down so they don't escape me like so many things do these days.

One of my most favorite "James words" is penyon. A penyon is his word for crayon. I believe its a cross between pen, which he learned first, and crayon. He loves coloring and writing his name with his penyons. I can't find it in myself to correct him because this word is just too cute. I, myself, now want to call crayons "penyons." I can't help but laugh when I hear him say it.

James' favorite toys are his racing cars and trucks. His cars aren't just cars, they must be racing cars. He loves things that go fast. Everything must go fast. I love when he runs by doorways saying "Hi Gramma! I go fast!" He has a little truck that he can ride on, and Patrick pushes him so fast that I can see James' hair blowing in the breeze. He squeals in delight.

Up until recently, James could count to 10, but would always slip up #5 for #9 which would make him jump from 1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10. He would stop with a puzzled look on his face, like "hmm...I'm missing something" then start again. Just this past week he started successfully getting though the complete 1-11. He counts everything these days, but mostly his cars, his tub toys, and stairs. Every morning we come out of his bedroom and he says "Mommy, hand" and he gives me his hand. He takes his first step, and shouts out ONE, then goes all the way to eleven. It's so cute, and such a fun routine to have in the morning.

He has been going through a big sleep phase. He loves to put his toys to sleep and tuck them in under blankets, or if there are not blankets around, tissues. When his toys go to sleep, they must be on their backs. This includes his trucks and cars. There will be times that I'll walk in and all of his trucks and cars will be on their backs with tissues or (unused) toilet paper placed gently over them. He'll fake snore and say, "shhh Mommy, the trucks and cars sleeping!" He'll also do this with his tub toys. He'll line them up on the side of the tub and put bubbles on them as blankets. The process requires a lot of concentration and he takes it very seriously. He plays a sleepy game with my mom where he'll say, "Gramma! Sleep!" She'll shut her eyes and pretend to sleep. He'll take his little fingers and (whisper) count, 1, 2, 3, then yell "GRAMMA!" She pretends that he's startled her and it makes him laugh like crazy! I believe his sleep obsession started with my mother's decorative Santa that sat on the hearth. He was in bed and you'd press a button and he'd start to snore. At first, this scared James. My father encouraged him to overcome the fear. Now if you ask James what Santa Claus (or in his words, Ka Claus) says, he won't respond with "Ho! Ho! Ho!" like most kids; instead, James fake snores.

About a month or so ago, my father started taking James down to their finished basement so he could explore. James treats the downstairs like a fort now. As soon as Papa comes home, James begs to go downstairs. Once they're down there, he acts like he rules the place. My dad takes him for rides in his little blue car, lets him throw his stuffed animals all over the place, and most importantly, they visit the furnace. The noise the furnace makes is a thrill to James. He gets scared, but somehow enjoys it. He asks, "Papa noise!" and points to the room that the furnace is in. This love for the furnace noise ignited a love for noise in general-vacuum noise, washing machine noise, dryer noise, etc. He is always talking about noises now.

When Andy gets home from work, I'll announce, "Daddy's home!" This triggers pure excitement and joy from both James and Watson. They both dart to the window to catch the first glimpse of Andy's car pulling in the driveway. Now that its getting warmer out, I open the window a little so James can shout to Andy. Andy walks up to the window, which is face level with him, and he and James go nose to nose through the screen laughing and giving each other kisses. Watson gets jealous and barks and dances like crazy until Andy comes in. This is one of the happiest parts of our day. I love when we're all home together!

James loves attention and acknowledgement. If more than a few minutes go by without anyone talking, you'll suddenly hear, "Hi Mama," or "Hi Gramma," or "Hi Papa," etc. When you meet eyes with him you're greeted with the sweetest smile. This is something he's done for a while, but it continues to melt my heart. He also loves talking to people in stores. James gets so excited to go to the store and ride in the carriage. He talks to anyone who will acknowledge him. "Hi Lady!" "Hi Man!" "Hi Girl" "Hi Boy" etc. It is so funny. It makes so many grumpy shoppers smile. Although recently he and I were shopping for some summer shoes for him at Target, and he saw a "baby" AKA a toddler that looked older than he is. He said, "Hi Baby-I shop for shoes!" The toddler was not impressed and started crying. The mom was like 'Don't worry, you're a big boy." When the toddler started crying, it worried James. He looked at me and said "Mommy, baby crying!" "Don't cry baby!" This irritated the toddler more to the point where I decided we'd let them have the aisle and we'd come back later.

He and my dad have a special bond. I've finally figured it out. My dad lets him do whatever he wants, and James loves this. I still remember a night that my dad called down to me from his room and said, "Do you want to see your son try to kill himself (obviously in a light hearted way). I ran upstairs and found all of the pillows from my parents bed on the floor and James standing on the bed. My dad said "Ready, Set, GO!" and James ran off the bed and landed in the pile of pillows. He was so excited and laughing so hard. This has become one of his favorite games.

When Bailey, my parents grumpy, old man, dog barks, James runs to the window saying, "Papa's home!" "Bonnie's home!" "Jamie's home!" just hoping that someone is there to visit him.

Every Saturday, Andy's sister Coleen, and Mr. McKenna take James to Boston's for breakfast and a walk around the waterfront. If you ask where he's going, he'll say, "BOSTONS!" and then he talks about sausage. He steals Mr. McKenna's sausage and loves it. They walk around the waterfront and he talks to everyone and gets to pet all the dogs.

Now that my little escape artist knows how to get out of his crib, we have to have a talk before his nap and before bed. I tell him he has to sleep and stay in his crib. He looks at me very seriously and tells me with his little finger extended, "Don't fall boom!" I agree and say, "No, we don't want you to fall boom." I know the days of the crib are winding down, and soon he'll be in his big boy bed, but for now I enjoy the peace of mind knowing he's safe in there.

James loves to dance. My father found a Disney record that my mother bought for me when I was a baby. My dad plays it and James dances. His favorite song is the "Cow Song," AKA "Old MacDonald." He dances like crazy and sings along. He loves singing and dancing. It amazes me how many songs he already knows. When we drive in the car I'll sing part of a verse of a song, and he'll finish it...and so the car sing-a-longs begin!

James and I went for a walk the other day. All of the houses in my moms neighborhood have short driveways, but one. This one particular house has a long driveway covered in trees. James stopped and pointed and said, "Mommy-house is hiding!" I thought this was such an adorable observation from my little guy. Just last night we were reading his Curious George book that he loves so much lately. He opened the book and the first pages are blank. He looked up at me and said "George is hiding Mama!" These little concepts make me smile!

He's mastered all of his colors, (silver being my favorite) by 20 months old. Everything is now labeled by color. He's very proud of this accomplishment-as am I!

James is the ultimate backseat driver. If he feels that I'm going too fast, he'll tell me to slow down and be careful. If a car stops up ahead, he'll tell me not to crash. If he sees a police car, he'll say, "Mama Policeman!" which I must admit, I do appreciate at times. If I'm at a stop light, he tells me to "GO!" If we hit a pot hole, he says, "MAMA BANG!" The most fascinating thing to me is he knows directions and streets already. As soon as we turn on to Rt. 36, he says "Yay! See Watson Doggy!' because he knows we're close to home. If it's a night that I pick Andy up from the train and we have to pass our street, he says "Mama! See Watson!! Stop!!" He knows I've missed our street and he's letting me know. He knows how to get to my parents street, the McKenna's street, Ma's house (his great grandmother), and Liam's house (AKA The Alchorn's house). He knows exactly when the street or house is coming up and starts saying "YAY in the backseat." He also gets excited when we pass the Plympton Police station and he can see the police and firetrucks. I know, that at age 28, I'm lucky I can figure out where I'm going. Here he is at 22 months old already becoming a human GPS like his dad! Thank goodness he inherited Andy's excellent sense of direction!

I could clearly go on forever because there is so much I want to remember. As I said before, every day is something new and I never know what he's going to come out with. He is full-time entertainment. No matter how exhausted I am at the end of the day, there is absolutely nothing I would change. It's all so worth it and it all goes by way too quickly. Although I feel like my life can sometimes be a tornado, its one that I love. When I sit on the couch at the end of the day, and see little trucks, cars, stuffed animals, potty seats, etc scattered around my living room it reminds me that I have a beautiful little boy living with me now. I'm so thankful, and so blessed!

...and then there were 2!

It's been so long since my last blog. It must have been a combo of being newly pregnant, working full-time, and chasing a very busy toddler.

I need to make sure I document some fond memories from the past few months, that went by so fast, it's all a blur to me!

Andy and I have been planning on having our second baby pretty much since we had our first. James made everything so easy and beautiful for us. We knew we wanted another one, and we didn't want to wait long. We wanted James to have a built-in buddy whom which he could share Christmas memories, to play with in the back yard, and have little camp outs with in his bedroom. Someone he can experience everything with. His life-long companion.

I took the positive pregnancy test on Friday, November 12, 2010. Andy had gone to the store, and I took the test on a whim. James, who has always been a fantastic sleeper, for some reason woke up and was crying for me right as I read the positive result. I went in his room, picked him up out of his crib, and rocked him in the chair while crying tears of joy. The little guy in my arms had no idea that his life was going to change in 8 months. It was perfect to share those first moments, knowing I was now a mom of two, with my beautiful baby boy.

This time around, I couldn't wait for Andy to get home to share the surprise with him. He called me on his way home, and I asked if he had someone to stand in for me in the softball tournament we were scheduled to play in the following weekend. Right away he knew what I meant. His reaction was perfect-total happiness and some of the happiest laughter I've heard from him! He eased any, "What am I about to get myself into?" feelings I had since seeing the plus sign on the test. Andy came home and ran upstairs, and we hugged in the bathroom (so romantic), and started wondering, "Will James have a little sister or a little brother?"

Within three weeks, I was face down in the toilet again, right on schedule. Morning sickness has been tough, but not at all compared to what I went through while pregnant with James. It's hard to say if this baby is just being easier on me, or if removing my 4hr commute to work had something to do with it. I've been able to take my time to get out of bed, and wear comfortable clothes all day. I'm not faced with sketchy smells coming from any cubicles nearby. I could create a happy, pregnancy bubble full of pleasant smells.

It's hard to believe I'm in the fifth month of pregnancy now. I feel like this is moving along so much faster than my first, having a toddler to keep me busy. I've recently started feeling some stronger movements in my belly, which helps remind me that I have another baby with me at all times. Our anatomy appointment was Friday, February 25th. Andy and I both agreed it would be a win-win whether we have a girl or a boy. One of each would be nice, but two little boys to grow up together would be priceless. We lucked out and the baby was very cooperative. As soon as the ultrasound tech put the "wand" on my belly, the baby was dancing on the screen-so big and so active already. The tech kept us in suspense as she did all the measurements and checked everything, avoiding the pelvic area. Finally the moment came. She asked, "Do you want to know the gender." Both of us couldnt get the word, "YES" out of our mouths fast enough. There it was, his little "manliness" clear for both of us to see. James was going to have a little brother. We knew we had Thomas Liam McKenna growing stronger each day in my belly. We held hands and cried tears of joy together.

We spent the car ride home talking about what moments we have ahead of us. Two little boys-pure chaos. We talked about feetie pajamas, Christmas mornings, the first days of school, and their first baseball games. We talked about high school for them-getting to share the experience together. We laughed how they can be referred to as "The McKenna Boys." It's all so exciting-we have so much to look forward to!

As for now, I'm going to enjoy my pregnancy and take it one day at a time. Words can't describe how excited I am to meet this little boy, and introduce James to his little brother. However, I want to take in every moment with James for now. It's a bittersweet feeling changing from a mom of one, to a mom of two. I can't help but fight some of the guilty feelings of missing out on more one-on-one time with James. I know once that baby is in my arms it will all fall into place, but for now I will enjoy every cuddle, snuggle, laugh, giggle, cry, and kiss with my little boy, who will soon look so big.