It's A Wonderful Life

The month of December has always been special to me. I'm a December baby, and therefore feel that I partly own the month. I always got to celebrate my birthday by going out to get the Christmas tree and decorating it with my mother. I got to watch as my brother would string lights up "Chevy Chase Style" on our house so it would be lit for all of my birthday guests. We would sing Christmas carols at my party. I would look forward to an early December dusting or snowstorm to make me my own winter wonderland. Mixing Christmas with my birthday made the month a little merrier.

As if this month couldn't get more fabulous, Andy and I started dating on December 7th, 2002. This gave me something extra to celebrate in the month of December. Three years later, December 15, 2005, Andy took me for a walk in Boston Common to see the Christmas lights. It was snowing-an absolutely a beautiful night. He got down on one knee and told me he wanted to be the one to make every one of my dreams come true. Andy knew how much I loved December-and I remember him saying, "Now we can celebrate your birthday the first week, our engagement the second week, Christmas the third week, then New Years-you have something to make you smile every week in December." I love the way he thinks.

We've been sailing along happily, celebrating our little milestones. Last year we had our 5 month old celebrating his 1st Christmas. We dressed him in a cute little Christmas sweater on Christmas Eve and he celebrated with the Conway's at our family Christmas party. Christmas Morning was a memorable one. James had been watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for practically his entire life, and my mother had bought him a Mickey stuffed animal. We unwrapped his 1st Christmas gift, and his eyes bugged out of his head! He couldn't believe he had his very own Mickey. The expression on that 5 month old face was priceless, and one I'll remember forever. Mickey got lots of hugs that day, and James was one very happy baby. 

Baby's 1st Christmas!

"While visions of sugarplumbs danced in their heads." Daddy and James sleeping on Christmas Eve.

Mickey? Really? NO way!!

Hugs for Mickey!

This year has been even better-just when I thought it was not possible. My mother bought him a personalized Santa book. She's been reading it to him daily. He can now pick out Santa Claus-who he refers to as "Ca Claus," reindeer (rindeer), the snowmen (mowman), and the angel. She has also been collecting those crazy, animated, stuffed animals shaped like all of the Christmas all-stars that sing all of the Christmas classics. James runs around the house, collecting them on the kitchen floor. He presses all of the buttons (it amazes me how he knows where each button is on each animated animal, snowman, and tree), and dances like a little maniac in the midst of the Christmas chaos. He cracks himself up (and us too). My father has been playing the song, Mary's Boy Child-by Bony M for as long as I can remember. This has now become James' favorite song. He comes in the house, shouts, "Papa! Song!," and my dad will put it on. They both dance around the house and he laughs the loudest belly laugh. He's started to learn the words, "day, angel, more, Christmas." To me, this is heaven. Seeing him enjoy my parents makes me so happy.

James with Frosty and Doggy-2 out of the 100 of my mom's animated Christmas friends. He walks around hugging them all day.

Andy and I took James to see Santa Claus at the mall. This can always be an "ify" process with toddlers. For some reason, Santa can come off as terrifying, rather than jolly. While we waited in line, James socialized with all of the kids waiting anxiously for Santa. All of their faces reflected pure horror. James was walking up to them with his little dimples and truck, saying "HI!" He added humor to the long line. When he was next in line to finally see Santa, he was trying to cut in front of the little boy (who clearly had no desire to sit on Santa's lap). It was hard to hold him back. It was finally his turn. He ran over to Santa, shouting, "HI CA CLAUS! HI CA CLAUS!" The child was not shy. He got right up on Santa's lap and flashed his adorable smile for the camera. He looked at Santa with the happiest face, and kept giggling. It was hard to pry him away. Talk about a happy first experience meeting Santa! I, of course, was all weepy-seeing him with Santa and knowing Christmas had that pure, innocent, happiness again!

Santa's #1 Fan!

This morning, we woke to a glorious winter wonderland. I ran into James' room and told him it was finally time to wear his "boot shoes" that he had been eyeing for a month.He proudly gave me his feet, and I bundled him up. We stepped out into the snowy morning, both with the biggest smiles on our faces. I put him down into the snow, and watched him kick it around a little-trying to figure it out. His little arms went up over his head, and he looked up at the sky. The snowflakes fell so lightly on his little button face. He was in his glory-and so was I. My neighbor shouted from across the street that he was excited he got to witness James' first walk in the snow. It was so cute!! Tonight we bundled him up, and Patrick, my dad, James, and I ventured out in the snow. We made a small snowman, James made his first snow angel, and I taught him how to eat snow-which he loved. He ran around shouting "WEEEEEE!" at the top of his little lungs! Without realizing it, I was there beside him, doing the same thing. I had become a child again. The two of us had a blast-more fun I've had in the snow in years! The best part is-its only the beginning!

1st night playing in the snow. He loved it!

I taught him to eat snow. I'll eventually have to teach him to stay away from the yellow snow!

I can't begin to explain how excited I am to see James enjoy Christmas this weekend. We've been telling him all about Santa and the presents he'll be getting. I can't wait to see him dance the "Conway Dance" with all of his great aunts and uncles to Mary's Boy Child. I can't wait to put him in his little Christmas pajamas and tuck him in to bed by the glow of the Christmas lights. I can't wait to see his little sleepy eyes and messy hair on Christmas morning, when he spots all of his presents under the tree. I can't wait to see all of the adult faces light up with joy when he gives them his gifts-his precious hugs and kisses.

This is what Christmas is all about. Thank you James, for helping your father and I find the magic and excitment of Christmas all over again. We've been waiting patiently for this. It was worth the wait. Life is wonderful!

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault

I've always appreciated babies, but until I had my own I didn't truly grasp what little miracles they were. When I held James for the first time, I experienced first hand how defenseless and helpless he was. Without an adults assistance, he could not do anything for himself. All he could really do was stare, (and boy did he do a lot of that), and let out an occasional cry to let us know something wasn't right.

The early days with James. We would stare at each other for hours at a time.

Sixteen months later, I can't believe he is the same child. I'm in awe. I am sure other moms can agree with me when I say, every day its something new-and my goodness it goes by fast. I've tried so hard to retain as many "firsts" as I possibly can. I've written things down, but unfortunately lost my "log" and have had to go from memory, and I've taken as as many pictures and videos as I can. It still doesn't feel as though its "enough." I feel like so many of these precious moments are passing me by and I don't have time to sit and appreciate them...so tonight my blog is dedicated to that-those "small things" that in the moment seemed so big.

James Smile-His smile lights up my life-my entire world. Between his extremely expressive eyes (that I swear sometimes twinkle), tiny button nose, and beautiful dimples (thank you Daddy), he can melt even the coldest of hearts. I remember my mom telling me that I smiled from the moment I was born-and she swears it wasn't just "gas." I always figured it was a "mommy exaggeration," but then had a little "smiler" of my own. Within a few days, my newborn was smiling up a storm. It wasn't a "gas" smile, like my mom had once said, it was a real smile. He was born so happy. James cannot keep a straight face-very much like his mother. He wakes up with a smile on his face, smiles even when he's being fresh, and as I kiss him goodnight he puts his head on his pillow with a smile on his face.  I feel like happiness radiates from this boy!

When he smiles, his entire face lights up. No doubt he has the Irish eyes!

His Laughter-As if his big smile wasn't enough, along came his laugh. He started laughing when he was a month old. For those of you who have heard it, you understand just how unique it is. Its not quite a laugh, but more of a cackle-and it is beyond contagious! He "cackles" so hard he can't catch his breath. The only other person I've ever met with such an amazing laugh, was my Aunt Mary. I swear he shares so many of her qualities-and the laugh is one of them. Its like she is living on through his laughter.

Rolling Over-The first time James ever rolled over was actually when he was a day old. It was very strange and Andy and I kind of sat there staring in bewilderment. Thank goodness it was the one and only time until he was 9 weeks old. He always loved being on his belly, but once he grew interested in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he refused to play on his stomach, and would roll over to get a better view of the T.V. Before long he was able to roll over both ways. He had found his means of transportation. He would barrel roll over to any object he was interested in. Such a sight to see!

His first means of transportation-the roll. Watson was a common target. James loves his furry friend!

Feeding Himself-I hate wishing anything away, but boy did I miss having my hands free the first few months. I lucked out and James quickly learned how to burp himself. He mastered this by 8 weeks old. This allowed me to prop him in his Boppy with a receiving blanket and bottle and have a few minutes to do things around the house. By 6 months old, he was holding the bottle on his own-as a matter of fact started "pounding" his bottles. I remember sitting with a few friends one day in a Food Court at the mall, with James standing on my lap, bottle straight up in the air-chugging. As soon as he was done, he slammed the bottle down on the table, like the true Irishman he is. As a matter of fact, he was wearing his Scally Cap that day. James was just about 7 months old when he mastered the "pinching grasp," which now allowed for him to feed himself snacks-and freed up more time for Mommy! By his first birthday, he had broken the bottle habit and was a pro feeder! We are still working on the utensils-its quite a messy experience!

Pay no attention to the date-my camera is always wrong. This is circa January 2010. The little guy was able to sit up and hold his bottle! I was hands free!

This picture was taken the day of the food course bottle session!

Crawling to Walking-James didn't just get up on all fours one day and take off, it was more of a progressive process. The early stages of his crawling, consisted of him lying on his belly and dragging himself with his elbows (yes, an army crawl). I actually remember the first time he did it. He has a Wally the Green Monster stuffed animal and I used it as bribery. I would hold it just a little of his reach, and he would drag himself over to me. It didn't take long before he realized that his knees were helpful in the process, and he took off. He would fly around the house on his hands and knees. It was amazing to watch him become slightly independent (for a six month old). His first steps surprised me around 10 months old. Quickly he was able to walk in a straight line (no quick turns). His first birthday marked the end of his crawling era. He was a big boy, and big boys walk-or these days run-to their destinations!

Up on all fours and moving around at a faster pace-not long until he's up on his two legs! Look at that determined face!

...and he's off! Getting ready to retire his crawling lifestyle!

Pointing-At first James would do the whole palm point. He would aim his palm at anything he wanted or was interested in. It took him a little bit to master the one finger point, but he soon got it. He likes to use it as often as possible. He uses it as a learning tool, by pointing at things and asking "Dat?" or as a means of discipline "BOH! BOH!" Watson gets the "BOH! BOH!" a lot (along with most dogs-he lets them know who is boss) and my dad, who loves to tease him. This past weekend James was getting excited to take a big bite out of a cupcake and my dad decided to fake a bite out of it. James' jaw dropped, and immediately the little finger came out-"BOH! BOH! PAPA!" Nothing comes between James and his sweets!

His Language-I told Andy when I was pregnant, that the baby might come out looking like him, but he'll talk a lot like me. This actually happened. James was 5 months old when he started babbling "Mama." I knew he didn't technically know what he was saying, but I knew it was early for him to be doing it. I wasn't surprised when at 8 months he said his first "official" word. I was changing his diaper (and at this point, he was all about rolling over mid-diaper change). I held a wiffle ball over his head to distract him from the rolling movement, and said "ball." He looked at it, then at me, and as clear as day said "BALL." His wiffle ball became his favorite toy-and everything else shaped like a ball as a matter of fact. Sometimes he'd even say it with an Italian accent-Bal-le. Its almost an obsession for him-for instance, on Halloween while trick-or-treating, he would search for candy shaped like a ball. Between the word ball and his animal sounds, James was in his glory communicating with us. He knew all of his animal sounds by 9 months, of which the lions roar was his favorite. He would growl at everyone. He could fill in the "woof woof" when I'd sing "How Much is That Doggy in the Window," and say "wee wee wee" for all the way home. At 16 months, James has started putting words together-which amazes me. He can understand simple commands and I can understand what he is asking and saying. I am able to successfully communicate with my baby-wow!

There it is-his blue wiffle ball. His favorite toy. This was the actual ball that I used to teach him the word, "ball."

Singing and Dancing-James loves music. Barney and Baby Boost are his shows of choice (since they are based around music). He wants to be able to sing along. He used to just hum along with all of his favorite songs, and sway in his playpen. Just recently he has really started singing. He has almost mastered "Twinkle Twinkle" and can hit a lot of words right on cue in his favorite songs. To me, its amazing. His singing face is a sight to see. He curls his little eyebrows up and just lets out this soft, high pitched, hum. He means it! He has watched Barney and Baby Boost so much, he is now the master of marching, falling down, clapping his hands, shouting "Hooray," beep beeping, etc. He's a dancing machine!

OK-so this isn't him really rocking out, since he was only a few weeks old. It made you smile though, didn't it? Told you his happiness is contagious!

  I feel that I could go on forever, and will probably blog about some more of my "favorites" that were not mentioned this time around. I just don't want to forget each little milestone he has. Time is cruel that way, and sometimes details that meant so much in a moment, somehow slip away. Watching the transformation from a newborn to a toddler has been an incredible journey. I don't think the awe will ever really go away. One day he wasn't here-then the next he was. One day he was this tiny little being in my arms, just staring at me-now he can run up to me and wrap his arms around me. One day I was feeding him his bottle-now he shares his cookies with me and "feeds Mama." One day I would play peek-a-boo to make him smile, and now he plays peek-a-boo with me to make me smile. Life goes by quickly-enjoy the little things-because someday they'll
be big.

My little bug surprising me with a hug. I love that even with his slight independence, he still comes back for love!

I am often accused of being childish. I prefer to interpret that as child-like. I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things. I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish. I still listen to instinctual urges. I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind. I never water my garden without soaking myself. It has been after such times of joy that I have achieved my greatest creativity and produced my best work. ~Leo F. Buscaglia, Bus 9 to Paradise

I am a 10 year old trapped in a 27 year old body. I feel like my body has aged, while my spirit and mind still remain child-like. I clean my house to Disney movies, I listen to Christmas music when I need some cheer, I have rainbow folders and desk accessories, I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I love playing pranks on people, and after every rain you can find me outside trying to "hunt" a rainbow.

Sometimes I wonder if this child-like side of me resulted from birth order. I am the youngest of four, and came as a "surprise," years after my older siblings. This meant that all focus was on me. My older sister's and brother helped my parents give me the most amazing childhood. They would put their five minds together and come up with the most creative ideas.

Here we are-my parents, sisters, brother, and grandparents circa Christmas 1983. I was James' age and already taking in so much!

I want to share some of the clever things I experienced growing up that someday I will share with my children. This will give you a "peek" into who I am and where I got my"young heart".

1. I didn't just lose a tooth and put it under a pillow like every other kid. Instead, my parents would have me sit with them and write a letter to the tooth fairy. The letter would be my way of sharing the story of my tooth-how I lost it, which tooth it was, what caused it to finally "pop" out. Once the letter was complete, I'd put it in an envelope along with the tooth, and place it under my pillow. Along with the letter, I would leave a little note inviting the tooth fairy to enjoy my doll house while she's stopped at my house. This way she could rest before flying out to other homes and collecting more tiny teeth. I'd set up my Barbie house for the tooth fairy-bed made, some juice and snacks in the miniature cup and plate, etc. It's one thing for a little girl to do this, but my parents would feed into it. This is where everything is taken to another level. My parents would move the blankets in the Barbie house, drink the juice and eat the snacks. They would sprinkle "fairy dust" around (magic) ,and leave me a letter from the "tooth fairy". One time they went so far as to leave a clear, glittery, Barbie shoe in the house for me to find-kinda Cinderella like. I remember bringing it to my first grade classroom bragging that I had the tooth fairy's shoe! Sounds nuts, but wow was that cool for a little girl to experience!

2. St. Patrick's Day-most families might have their boiled dinners and a Guiness or two, but my Irish parents went all out. I'd wake up to green glitter sprinkled around my room letting me know the leprechauns had come. My clever mother would go to the bank the night before and ask for rolls of "brand new" pennies. She planted the pennies down a path in my woods. When I woke up and got dressed in my green outfit, she'd give me a baggie and we'd go on a walk through the woods collecting the leprechauns gold. Irish music would ring through my house as my mom made her boiled dinner. I'd sit at the table and draw pictures of leprechauns, pots 'o gold, and rainbows.

3. Christmas Eve-I come from a large, Irish family and every Christmas Eve we all gather together at my parents house. We'd eat a feast, sing Christmas carols (for real, I have witnesses), and exchange gifts. After our guests left, we would help my mom clean the house and my father would order Chinese food. My mom would take out her best china and set the table. We  would eat dinner together, as a family, at midnight, by candlelight. I can still hear the soft Christmas music playing in the background-Mitch Miller or Perry Como. Just writing about this memory gives me such a warm feeling inside. It was always a bonus when it would snow and it would feel like we were placed in a snow globe, safe in my home with the people I loved most. My mother would have me peek out the window to see if I could see Santa. I'd get such butterflies in my belly as I'd run up to bed. Christmas morning was just magical-I don't know how my parents did it, but we always got everything that we had wished for all year. Presents would be stacked to the top of the Christmas tree. Once we were done opening and our stockings were empty, my mom would bake cinnamon buns, in the shape of Christmas trees, and we'd drink hot chocolate. Perfection!

Here are the Conway kids on Christmas Morning 1983. My mom always dressed us in the cutest pajama's. Love the tree!

4. Music-I can't begin to explain how much music has shaped who I am. I come from a very musical family-not only talented, but musically driven. My earliest memories are of my mother and father, on the other side of my crib rails, singing me lullabies. They love folk music, and they shared this with me. "Morningtown Ride," by the Seekers was my lullaby. They would sing it all the way through, and I would say, "again" and they would keep singing until I fell asleep. Where most parents rush their children to bed, I've learned to always take my time. Knowing how much these early memories impacted me, taught me not to rush these precious moments. Before bed, my father would play records on his record player-all folk, Irish music, and oldies. He would let me dance around the room and would laugh with me. My earliest bonding moments with my dad. Here he was using a sly antic-listening to music he loved, while letting me dance the toddler energy out of my system. Musical instruments were also common around our home. My brother is a musical genius and plays everything by ear. He would play the piano for me while I would dance and sing. He even composed a "Wizard of Oz" medley for me that makes me smile and cry at the same time. My father plays the guitar and loves to sing. He wrote me a silly little jingle that made me feel so cool (it was to my name). The rest of us sing-maybe not perfectly, but we give it a try. Every family party results in us gathering around my father and brother playing instruments, and the rest of us belting out songs. My parents always taught me to listen to the words-probably why I don't care much for new music. I love songs with a story. If I don't like the story, I usually don't care for the song.

Love this picture. My dad was probably singing, "Puff the Magic Dragon" while all of his kids gathered around and sang along.

So here I am with 27 years of amazing memories and my 15 month old son. He is my blank canvas. I want to take the gifts my parents have given me and try to make his childhood as magical as mine. I will carry on these traditions I cherish, and introduce some of our own. I'm going to use my child-like spirit to help give him the best childhood I can!

The only difference between a puppy and a baby is two extra legs.-Author Unknown

Although James was our first "biological" child, we consider Watson our 1st born. Watson "Dots" McKenna is our 80lb. yellow Labrador Retriever. He was born on 8/8/07, and we welcomed him in our home on 12/1/07. For those of you who have dogs, especially labs, you know how much work they can be. They are considered the eternal children in the dog world. They are hyper, clumsy, and goofy. They shed more than any other animal I've seen. This weekend while sweeping, polishing, and vacuuming I wondered if this was his master plan-to cover everything with fur that he possibly can.

December 1, 2007-Watson's first night home with us!

Watson broke us into parenthood long before James. If we could get through the puppy years with a Lab, we could get through anything. To be a Lab owner, you must have patience and a big heart. They are, in my opinion, the happiest and most energetic creatures God put on this earth.

We treat Watson like a human. For you non-dog lovers, (which I'll never understand), this might appal you. He has the run of the house-including our bed. The highlight of his day is jumping into bed with us and settling in his spot-right in between Andy and me. He sleeps with his head on the pillow and spoons my husband. I, in turn, spoon him. The three of us are a cozy sight to see. He snores like an 80 year old man, sometimes "talks" in his sleep, and on many occasions I've seen him chasing something in his dreams. Come to think of it-I do believe he was someplace in our bed the night James was conceived...

So their relationship began.....

Watson is THE most non-aggressive dog in this world. He never even let out a somewhat aggressive bark until I was pregnant. This is where nature blows my mind. How would a dog know that I'm pregnant? Its not like I can tell him-well I did actually tell him (see my first blog), but can't believe he somehow understood. He must have been able to sense the hormones or the change in the house. I remember the early days of his protective bark, when my belly was just beginning to pop. He'd let out this low growl followed by a loud bark. I knew he had stepped up and decided it was time to protect the nest.

When the time came for me to start pacing around the house and counting the minutes between contractions, I had told Andy to get some sleep. I knew it wasn't long before I'd be waking him up to get me to the hospital. Watson kept me company. I waddled around, up and down the stairs, around the house, in the shower, you name it. Anything to keep me moving and the contractions regulating. Watson was my labor labor coach. I hugged him and squeezed him with each pain I felt, he didn't talk, didn't force any of his own stories on  me, and didn't interrupt any of my contractions. He gave me kisses and helped ease my fear and pain. I finally woke Andy up and told him it was time for us to get to the hospital. He got our things in the car and helped me out of the house...then it hit me....

Watson wasn't going to be our only child anymore. In fact, I wasn't even able to give him any real warning like other parents do with the cute "Big Sister" or "Big Brother" t-shirts. I was going to blindside his world with this miniature human. I looked through the windshield and saw him watching us drive away, through the window of our house, with a "Where are you going?" expression on his face. I lost it. I cried the entire way to the hospital-not tears of pain, but tears for Watson and our time we had with him being our only child. I couldn't even explain to Andy why I was crying so hard because they were those tears that don't even let you talk-the ones that are combined with the awful lump in your throat. It was awful.

I had packed a picture of Watson in my suitcase to hang up once we got there. I needed to be able to see him while we were away. This comforted me.

Finally it was time to bring James home to meet his furry brother. Andy got out the video camera and we taped their first interaction. It was absolutely adorable. We put James on the floor in his carrier and watched as Watson approached him and sniffed him. He bent down in the doggie "play" pose and started running in circles barking. He'd creep back up to James and sniff him again and run away again. It was cute and the bond officially formed.

Here is Watson coming in for a closer look. The first interactions with James.

1st Kisses. Too precious. Such a gentle giant!

I love this picture of Watson and James. This sums up his role as the "big brother." Love at first sight!

Here he is keeping an eye on things. He perched himself on the couch next to James at all times!

Some of the highlights over the past 15months have been moments with James and Watson together. From the early days when James was too little to even understand what Watson was, Andy and I would watch Watson sit beside him or watch his every move. The nights when James slept in our room before moving to the crib, Watson would sleep as close to his bassinet as possible. He would wake to any coo James would make and lock his eyes on the bassinet until the noises stopped. I think Watson lost more sleep than we did. When James first learned how to laugh, Watson could get him to laugh louder and harder than anyone else. When James started crawling, Watson was right beside him. Now that James walks and runs, Watson runs circles around him. Its quite a sight to see. James can now really interact with him by throwing toys or the ball. Watson retrieves it and brings it back and James bursts out in laughter.He has also toughened James up. Due to the difference in size, James tends to get "pummeled" by Watson. He's like a personal trainer for the little guy. James has even learned to reprimand him when he does "freshy" things. Seeing the little finger pointing at him followed by a "Boh Boh Dots Dots" cracks us up!!

I managed to find room for both of my babies in my lap.

You can find candid pictures of Watson in a lot of the early pictures of James. He's always someplace, keeping an eye on things. Here is one of my personal favorites-trying to figure out if this swing thing is safe!

Watson used to nap on my belly when I was pregnant. I wondered if he knew there was somebody in there. I love this picture because he's sleeping right where he did for 9months, but that person is right beside him now!

Bath time is always interesting with this furry nanny. It's hard to wash James when I have to squeeze by this goof. This is his protective stance.

This is what happens when I try to push Watson out of the way during bath time. Instead of him backing off, he jumps in the tub. There is no separating these two.

I truly believe that Watson is a furry soul mate for our family. He has brought us so much happiness throughout his 3 years with us. James has a built-in best friend, a big brother. My heart feels so happy just thinking of the memories that they will make together.

James got RSV last December and was very sick. Watson was right beside him the whole time.

Look at the size of that snout vs. that tiny hand. He couldn't be more gentle if he tried. He loves kissing James and James loves his kisses!

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.~Rajneesh

So today I jumped onto the "blogging bandwagon."

I find this to be very necessary, since old fashioned journaling just doesn't cut it anymore. If I can find my journal, I can't find my pen. Usually one or the other is in the grip of 10 chubby little fingers, that are often times covered in something super sticky.

Two years ago I started this crazy journey toward motherhood. Andy and I felt that we were "as ready as we'd ever be." I can still remember the moment I looked down at the test and saw the positive results. I was in the company of my yellow lab, Watson. I looked at him and started screaming and crying and laughing (you know the deal). Andy was at work, so Watson got the brunt of my happiness. I cried in the shower and quickly got ready to go to a health fair for work. At the health fair I was smiling so wide I thought my cheeks were going to burst. I also thought that everyone who looked at me must have known I was 5 weeks pregnant...I mean "obviously." I told a few strangers to get it out there. I needed to share it with someone and refused to tell Andy over the phone. When the fair was over, I ran to the store to get a cute bib that said, "I love my daddy." (cheesy, but necessary). I wrapped it up along with the positive tests and sat on the couch for a few hours anxiously waiting for Andy to get home. When he finally got home and opened the test we hugged and kissed (maybe gave each other a high five) and then just sat in silence....for a very long time. I finally broke the silence with something like, "so we're going to be parents......"

I loved EVERY second of my pregnancy despite the 7months of intense morning/all day sickness. I believe I wore a pale shade of green quite well. Unlike my friend/co-worker (who was due a month before me), that managed to rock high heels almost her entire pregnancy, I started wearing flats and stretchy pants by the end of the first trimester. I believe 1/2 way through my second trimester people started asking if I was due "next week." This was very disturbing since I still had a trimester and a half left. I got some distinct characteristics from my mother-the ability to cry at the drop of a dime-whether it be happy tears, sad tears, tears over something because its so beautiful, proud tears, laughing hard tears, painful tears, etc. and a very short torso. Very short torsos and pregnancy do not mix very well. By the time summer came that led to the constant cookouts every weekend, I was a fixture at every buffet table. I would graze like a cow...somehow hoping if I ate one more cookie maybe James would decide to come out and meet us. This did not happen-I gained 55lbs, carried 41 weeks...got painfully induced, labored for 43 grueling hours...and finally delivered via c-section.

Andy and I decided to find out what we were having. Twenty weeks was long enough in our minds to wait for this surprise. We were convinced it was a girl. I have four nephews and figured my family was ready for a little girl. Andy on the other hand, was hopeful for his baby boy. We got to the appointment, nervous as can be, and waited for the news. I loved ultrasound days and had quite a lot of them. I am a higher risk candidate for pregnancy, so the doctors kept a close watch on my growing little bean. As scary as it was being labeled "high risk" I was thrilled to find out that this  meant I got to have bi-weekly ultrasounds. I'm as paranoid as they come, so having this two week check point kept my nerves somewhat at ease. Anyway, I still remember the moment the tech asked, "Do you want to know what you're having?" Both of us, eyes wide open, barely breathing, managed to shout out in unison, "YES!!!" "Well you're looking at his penis." This wasn't exactly how I had imagined it would happen, but it worked. I think I sat there, completely shocked, while Andy (I'm getting a bit teary even typing this) started shouting out, "BOY?! BOY?! IT'S A BOY?! WE'RE HAVING A BOY?! I'M GOING TO HAVE A SON?!" I think this memory might be one of my favorites along the way, and one I'll cherish forever. We looked at each other, with tears running down both our cheeks, and fell in love all over again.

We had already decided on baby names, so we left the appointment knowing that James Andrew McKenna was growing in my belly. James is a family name from both the McKenna's and from my family. We had agreed that we didn't want to do an Andrew Jr. because it would get too complicated. We went to Babies R Us and registered for our first baby items-all "boy" themed. Andy was in his glory.

My due date was June 30th but due to me being high risk, the doctors said that I could go as early as 5 months along. You can imagine my shock when June 30th came and went, and I was as preggo as ever.  Throughout the month of June, my Braxton Hicks contractions were pretty rough, but I officially started labor July 3rd. Although my contractions were all over the place, they were there and strong. I "early labored" in the company of family and friends and 3rd and 4th of July cookouts. They kept me entertained as my belly was cramping and James was getting ready to make his appearance. Andy and I decided it wouldn't be smart to attend the Plymouth firework festivities since I knew things could move quickly at any given moment. We watched the Boston fireworks on TV and I waddled back and forth out on the deck listening to the Halifax fireworks in the distance. By midnight, I was ready to get to the hospital.

Labor-no one ever truly prepares you for it. They tell you it hurts like nothing else, but until you actually experience labor, you don't really grasp what that means. For me, whose child was coming out sideways, it was Hell. I felt so tough through the first 12 hours. They gave me some sleeping medications and I slept through the night. I called my close friends in the morning and cheerfully said, "I'M IN LABOR LA LA LA." Little did I know that I was about to meet my enemy-Pitocin. They put that stuff in, and I became like the girl from the exorcist. My epidural did not work, I was feeling every catastrophic contraction. I kept locking eyes with Andy across the room. All I could do was glare since my mouth could not even form words. The nurses (who were so nice, but at the time seemed like enemies) kept rolling me from side to side. I had a death grip on the bed. I remember focusing on the whites of my knuckles. I distinctly remember saying, "He's coming out my butt-this can't be right!" Poor Andy. By 9a.m. on July 6th-yes, another 24 hours later, I had spiked a fever. Andy came to my bedside to put some cold cloths on my head. I looked at him with terror in my eyes and said, "I'm going to puke." Unable to react quickly enough, he grabbed a tiny basin and held it near my mouth. I proceeded to projectile vomit all over him and myself. This was the end...I was tapping out. They had officially left me for dead-or so I thought. Finally this adorable pixie looking doctor came in and said, "We are going to look at alternate methods-he doesn't seem to want to come out." At this point, my head was down near the floor and my feet were up in the air (the nurses were trying anything at this point-I think they said something about gravity helping in this position). I remember looking at the pixie through the space between my feet and shrieking with joy. NO MORE PITOCIN!

Within minutes I Andy and I were ready to go deliver the baby. I think I was so exhausted I was pretty much numb. I wish I had gotten pictures of Andy in his scrubs, but everything happened so quickly. Having a C-Section is quite a ride. The medical team was amazing. They were laughing and joking and made Andy and me feel so comfortable. My nerves were calmed completely. I remember feeling the intense pressure and the release of James from my body. Thinking of his first cry makes me cry all over again. He was here-in a minute or two I would meet my son for the first time. The unfortunate part of a C-Section is not getting to see him immediately. Andy rushed to the other side of the curtain to see him. When he came back, I remember seeing his watery eyes over his mask-'HE'S PERFECT! HE'S SO PERFECT! OMG ELIZABETH HE'S PERFECT!" (another memory to put on my all time favorite list). Andy brought James to me. Looking at that squishy little face for the first time is indescribable. There are no words. I had wondered and dreamed of what he would look like for almost 10 months and there he was. I could see him and touch him. I could close my eyes and picture his face perfectly. I had never been able to do that with anyone before in my life. That face was the one that, whenever I am feeling unhappy, stressed, exhausted, I can close my eyes and picture and feel instant relief. How perfect! He was my 8lb 10oz 21" miracle; My dream come true. At 12:10p.m. on July 6, 2009, my journey though motherhood had officially begun.

This is me holding James for the first time. Unfortunatley I was one of those women who had extreme shakes after delivery. I was holding on to him for dear life while my body was convulsing. After an hour of being in a heated blanket cacoon, I could finally hold him again.

I love this picture. The first of Andy and James together. Look at Andy's eyes. He was exhausted from watching me labor so long. :)

Here is the first family photo. I had secretly hoped I'd be one of those fabulous women that would look like a celebrity post-delivery. Not so much.

Welcome to fatherhood, Andy. 1st diaper change!

...and let the kisses begin. This poor child has probably gotten more kisses than any other baby. I can't help it. Sometimes I pin him down and kiss him so much he can't catch his breath. Mean-maybe, but I believe I've earned this privelege.

I think this is such a "new parent" pose. Whether its your first baby, or eleventh, the first few weeks consist of lots of "study sessions." Parents just sit, stare, study, and poke these new little beings. In return, your semi-cross eyed child stares back trying to memorize what ever blurs and sounds they can.

Tiny and fingers and toes-anything minature is adorable, but when its something you made? Its unreal!

Ready to hit the road. Let the fun begin!

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma."