While sitting on the beach with a few friends, a little girl in a watermelon bathing suit caught my eye. She was dancing around the beach, completely carefree. Her bright, blonde hair was blowing in the breeze. I could see her smile in the distance. At first I laughed along with my friends, (we all thought she was super cute), but I stopped. A feeling overcame me. It's been a while since a child has reminded me of her, but sometimes it happens. It's part of this little journey I'm on. My mind wandered...
Maggie.
It's hard to explain how I picture Maggie now. I remember her. I look at her pictures often. I can still feel her hand in mine and the way her soft skin felt on my lips when I kissed her tiny forehead. Over the past year and a half she's taken on many images in my mind. Sometimes she's that precious baby I held on that fateful day in January of 2015, or that beautiful red cardinal that I've held in my dreams. Sometimes I picture a little cherub sitting on a cloud-similar to what you'd see in a movie or a cartoon. I have visions of Maggie painting those breathtaking sunsets, or skipping through the snow- creating a glistening path behind her. Maybe she's that tiny baby in Ma's arms, with my grandmothers and Auntie Mary patiently waiting for their turn to hold her.
On this warm day in July, she was the little girl in the watermelon bathing suit.
Would she have had the same bleach blonde hair? I know her eyelashes were practically white. Blonde hair does run in Andy's family. She most certainly would have had the same pot belly like her brothers. I know for sure she would have had a song in her soul-similar to the ones the boys have. It's the song that puts a skip in their step and a rhythm to everything they do. Without a doubt she would have had a smile on her face at all times-she was my daughter after all. Her giggles would have been contagious too-I just know it. To top it off, I have a strong weakness for fruit themed clothes, (ask Aileen), so I know my little 1.5 year old would have rocked that watermelon bathing suit.
I met eyes with her mom. She caught me smiling. I'm sure she's used to it. Her daughter was absolutely adorable. I'm sure before she noticed me admiring her, she was telling her to stay close and not to wander to far. Maybe to relax and sit down, so she could in turn get some rest herself. I hope that my smile was a quick reminder to her-to admire the beauty that is her little girl and to just let her "be" for a bit.
It was also a reminder to me that although Maggie is somehow frozen in time to so many, she will continue to grow with me-whether it may be visions of what she would look like now, who she would be, or just the beauty of nature promising me that someday-I will hold my little girl again.
